How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
