I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
