well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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