Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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