You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I have demons in me.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
