I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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