go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
