weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
