I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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