you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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