This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
