two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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