A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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