Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
