I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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