I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
