I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
