What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
