More tranny stories later!
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
