yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
