She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
