So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
