how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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