Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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