sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
