so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
