It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
he fucked my hip out of place.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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