You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
