just come out here and I will go home with you...
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
