Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
