Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
