I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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