he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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