yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
mondays should just be called national damage control day
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Randomize
