the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
