Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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