accomplished twins. life is a go
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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