i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
