Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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