omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
