just come out here and I will go home with you...
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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