I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
