I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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