only if we run a train.
done.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
