Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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