dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
