ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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