What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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