Sponge bath it is.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize