You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
