I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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