It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
