I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
