How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
