I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
