Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
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