youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
