Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
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