My sheets look like a crime scene.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
