The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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