they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Randomize
