So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
