fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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