I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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